Be easy, babe.

I have to be honest, it’s been hard for me to get back on the COM horse… but I’m here and doing it.

be easy with yourself Waz.

I have to be honest, I usually over promise and at every cost, I do my best to deliver.
I often don’t deliver the way I want to and I hate myself for it.

So, my intention for my 30th year is to be easy with myself.

It’s harder to do than expected:
my muscle to say no is weak.
everyone else around me seems so effective and able to balance their life and here I am,

finding myself making lists on post-its that lose their sticky and lost at the bottom on my bag
and the ink of my arm runs.

I want to please everyone around me. SO MUCH.
and I please no one, especially not me.

and so I am taking on the inner monologue of

be easy with yourself, Wazina.

My ex-girlfriend’s response to my stressing about all the things on my plate was usually something along the lines of:
Well, all I have to do is stay white and die.

This insensitive line always struck me.
I mean, yes, she, I, we – anyone! – could just do the bare minimum in life and then well, die.
Could I just stay Afghan and die?

to be me in this world
to be us in this world
queer + muslim (+ woman!)
staying alive is success
and there are so many more successes i don’t give myself credit for.
I will be successful
I am successful
I don’t have to deliver anything

I create

I manifest

This post doesn’t make too much sense… but whatevs.

be easy, babe,Waz

 

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