Ramadan Reflections 2013: Making Peace

coffeebean heart

I fell asleep dear readers, and couldn’t seem to rouse myself before my body felt a bit rested!

The cat is purring like crazy and circling me like he missed me at 7:30 am.  I think even he was surprised not to see me in the wee hours.

Yesterday I attended a memorial service for a friend’s grandmother. They had a complicated relationship. Of her grandmother my friend said “She broke my heart. But before she broke it, she taught me about love.”Hearing that got me thinking about what it means to make peace with family members who break our hearts. One of my spiritual teachers speaks on honoring parents, in particular, through acknowledging that, whatever their shortcomings in our minds, they are the vessels through which Allah brought us to this earth. That fact is always true and always cause for gratitude. Even if our parents, grandparents, etc. also break our hearts, the peace of our spirits rests in holding both the heartbreak and the honor in ourselves. This is how I’ve come to understand making peace with ancestors. I believe there can be a really attractive pull to stay only in the heartbreak, whatever that is for us. What I’ve learned is that making peace leaves me feeling lighter and more present. I still have a couple of ancestors to make peace with and inshallah and by Allah’s grace, my heart will expand through the process.

 

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